5 Keys to Making Your Divorce Pain-Less
Divorce is never going to be pain-free, but it doesn’t have to be as difficult as it often is. This free guide goes over 5 CRITICAL tips to reduce the conflict without just giving in to the other person’s demands.
Here’s a Preview:
1) Learn what the law says about your situation.
Should you be paying child support? How often should I or my ex be having parenting time with the children? Should I be getting/paying Spousal support? What about the property, who gets what?
You need to understand the answers to those questions before you can navigate the many issues that come with separating. You can start with exploring our website (we provide information on most issues), but you should really meet with a lawyer. A good family lawyer will be able to give you a quick and easy-to-understand summary of the law and how it applies to your situation specifically.
2) Figure out what is really motivating your ex (spoiler alert, it’s rarely what you think (but sometimes it is)).
Find the interests behind the argument. Get behind the words they are saying to the motivation behind the words…
3) Be flexible wherever you can.
This does not mean “let them have whatever they want”. What I mean is this: posturing is always counterproductive as it erodes trust and destroys any goodwill (2 things you need desperately in this situation)…
4) Be reasonable:
This seems self-explanatory, but it can be very difficult to do when you are emotionally involved in the conflict. Also, in order to know what reasonable looks like, you need some context. You need to know what the law says and how the courts generally apply that law (see point 1 above).
This is another place that the advice of a lawyer is invaluable; they are NOT emotionally involved in the conflict, and they know the law…
5) Make it a high priority:
When you say you will do something, get it done as quickly as you can. Make a concerted effort to complete all of the big and small tasks as quickly as possible. Taking your time, dragging your feet, putting things off, all of these behaviours are expensive in both time and money. Promising to get things done quickly and keeping those promises builds goodwill and trust. As noted above, that makes everything go more smoothly. Do NOT be the cause of delays. That will rarely, if ever work in your favour…
Divorce is rarely easy. However, if you are difficult, ignorant, inflexible, unreasonable, stubborn, and slow to get anything done, your divorce will be much more difficult than it has to be. If you follow these 5 suggestions it will not fix everything, but it will make your divorce much easier to manage.
Hire a Lawyer that understands the effectiveness of this approach. A lawyer that does not become emotionally invested in your situation but always maintains the highest level of professionalism will help you much more than someone who is vindictive, contrary, argumentative, and rude.
How Much Will This Cost??
Finances are another significant stressor when navigating a divorce. At Kahane Law Office we do not bill by the hour. Instead we review your situation, craft a plan for moving things forward, and provide a scope of work that details the next steps and associated fees. Before you give us a retainer you always know exactly what that retainer is paying for. We provide you with some cost certainty during a time when so much in your life is uncertain. To learn about your options for an initial consultation, click here.