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This Week’s Wacky Wednesday: Couple Arrested on Theft Charges!

From the title, you might think that there’s no way that this would qualify as a weird crime. Sure, theft is a crime, but sometimes people steal. Sometimes a couple engages in theft together. However, this case will surprise you and it will put a whole new meaning into engaging in theft. It’s weird, it’s Walmart adjacent, and it’s more than a little bit funny. So, let’s get into this case and see exactly what it was that happened.

Bad Man, Bad Woman, Terribly Stupid Crimes

First, we need to start this off by saying that one of the protagonists of this tale is not a good human being. At the time of this crime, he was on probation having been convicted of ethnic intimidation when he and his cousin attacked three black men who had the audacity to walk past Cornelius’s porch. He does not seem to be a good man, nor does he seem to be overly bright, as you will see from the rest of the story.

Picture it. Bay City, Michigan on December 30, 2018. Where would you expect to find a young couple in love but not one of the most romantic places in the area – Walmart. Not only did Cornelius treat his lady to a walk around Walmart, but he also decided that he was going to get engaged to her right then and there. He asked a worker at the customer service department to read a note that held his proposal over the PA system.

She heard the message and apparently said yes, which led to applause from all of the other Walmart people. For most people, that would be the end of things. They would have a cute story of their engagement and they would go on with their lives. However, Cornelius is not just anyone. It was literally moments after the engagement that they left the Walmart and decided that they would take things up a notch and head to the Bay City Mall.

It was while in the mall that they headed to Spencer’s Gift Store. Yes, this could be one of the most surprising aspects of the story. Spencer’s still exists in some locations that aren’t 1995. They were spotted stealing while in Spencer’s and they fled. Being clever criminals, they split up. After all, the fuzz would be looking for a man and a woman. They would never figure it out if they were separate.

Moments later, the woman was found walking outside the mall near the Taco Bell. When she was searched, they found a silver necklace and gold earrings. Cornelius was even easier to find. He had gone to the food court in the mall and fell asleep at one of the tables while he was in the middle of tying his shoes. It seems that thieving is hard work. When he was searched, the police found a watch, panties, an edible thong, sex toy, and more from Spencer’s.

The footage from while they were in Walmart was inconclusive as to which of them stole the jewelry. The only good bit of news was that Cornelius actually bought the engagement ring he used from Walmart, so his lucky bride to be will get to keep that.

Sometimes, you hear stories that you think are just too absurd to actually be true. This sounds like one of them, but it is legitimate. Walmart has some great bargains, but the place does tend to attract a certain type of crowd. This is hardly the only strange case to have a connection to Walmart.