orangutan, man, CIA director, gun, Florida, car, vehicle, smoking, police, monkey, human, aggravated assault with a weapon, criminal, crime, arrested, handcuffed, ape, suspect, firearm, drug, mental health

This Week’s Wacky Wednesday: Half Man Half Orangutan CIA Director Pulls Gun

Did the title of this post give you a headache as you tried to decipher exactly what it meant? Did you think that it might be some type of code or just a jumble of words that should ever be together in that order? If so, you have really underestimated the power of Florida. This is a case that goes back to 2012 and is really strange. For some reason it did not get as much attention at the time as most would have thought. As with so many cases that originate in the Sunshine State, this one is weird and tinged with some sadness.

A Lot to Unpack in This Weird Case

Mark Loescher was sitting in front of a smoking vehicle outside of a bank in the city of Naples, Florida. A woman was concerned about the vehicle and was not certain whether the man even realized that the car was smoking. Upon pointing this out to him, he pulled a gun on her. She left and called the police, naturally. Upon hearing the call, it would have been natural for police to think that this might somehow involve the bank, such as a bank robbery. No such luck, though.

When the police arrived, they found the man sitting in his car with a woman in the front passenger seat. He did not want to comply with the demands by the police to get out of the vehicle. Instead, he told them that he needed to get to a place called the Fusion Center in order to get his monkey blood worked on. This was because he was not human… at least not fully human. He said that he was half man and half orangutan. You would imagine that being part orangutan would be something the police would just pick up on naturally, but no.

At this time, he also let the police know that he was the director of the CIA. The wild claims did not stop there, however, as Loescher also said that he was Elvis Presley’s brother and a friend of President Bush, who also happened to be half ape. He also said that he and Bush had the same attorney, which was the most plausible thing the man said, it turns out. Of course, that was not true either.

Unsurprisingly, Loescher thought that since he was the head of the CIA, the police should probably just let him go rather than arrest him and released the passenger. The police did not agree with his assessment and they ended up booking the man for aggravated assault with a weapon. Even if you were the director or the CIA, it would not be a good idea to pull out a gun on a random person who tells you that your car is smoking.

What Happened to the Suspect?

There is not much known about the case other than the above, but it seems as if the suspect in this case likely has mental health issues and potentially a drug problem, as well. He is certainly not the type of person who should be in possession of a firearm. Hopefully, he has gotten whatever help he has needed in the interceding years. We are quite sure that the help he needs is likely related to mental health and not getting his monkey blood replaced at the Fusion Center. Although, with all of the oddness that tends to come out of Florida, it can sometimes be difficult to tell.